welcome to my biography.
my endless entries. and am still writing....
yours, truly do i have to spell it out, or scream it to your face? |
26.12.1987 popular sanguine + peaceful phlegmatic |
i, may be your treasure or the price you ve to pay. may be your why or wherefore within the measure of a day.
to my unintended.
Saturday, May 31, 2008/ 12:31 PM
what hurts the most-rascal flatts. to my unintended. thank u for givin e chance to love u. there were times wen i tot i cud neva leave u. thank u for teachin me to love n let go. i always did admire how u were. how u lived ur life. i watched u each time wen we r together, still cun believe u r mine. you were lyk everything tt i wish for. mayb cz i keep nt believin it tt i lost u. i onli wished i had taken e chances to start changin n love u more. i admired how u always seemed to noe the right thing to say. n now i wish im strong just like u. you are and u will, bcause u do things your way. thank u for makin me once believe tt there's sum1 perfect for me. it was u. i was nt perfect bt thank u 4 havin a part in my life. i love u n will always hold u in my heart. u r special n i wish tt i'll b a better person bcause of u. thank u. n always knoe tt u'll always haf my unspoken passion. i love you. note to self: thats enough now sab. haf ur one last cry n let go. |
it'll be through such pain that we'll learn to know ourselves.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008/ 6:02 PM
it'll be through such pain that we'll learn to know ourselves. but the cost is steep and the knowledge not for the fainthearted.
there are ways of fallin in love which are, i wud say, important. crucial, ermm mayb. & real, definately. & & painful too. love is painful. isnt it? no it doesnt haf to hurt to feel gd. but it forces change upon u. it forces u, or sud i sae, us, to change. or haf a shot at changin anyway. so at e end of it, its either u had it all but crossed e threshold. vice versa. n its funny, how u imagine tt lovin sum1 is enough to make em believe u love em. the real reason of choice of partner are obscure. and wt passes for love is generally a decidedly mixed bag. anxiety, lack of self-worth, sadism, cowardice, fear, recklessness, simple brutality, e need to control, e need to be needed, e urge to be looked after etc. and there are other happier ermm ingredients? lyk kindness, compassion, friendship, patience, sympathy, e wish to help, e wish to be gd. though these better impulses can wreak more havoc than e more less gd ones. and so the realization made me literally shake now as the tears run down unrestrained. he was my one in a lifetime. i guess i sud haf told him. i tot he knew. a true love snapshot. "marry me?" "i wud love to." he was my everything. n all those whispered promises. "e best wkend of my life. i love you w all my heart. . i wun leave u, i will always love u. i promise." " fast forward the yrs." "now, thats a tot." "i dun wanna lose u, i realy dun." "u were n u are e best thing tt ever happen in my life. .i'd be lost without u." "i realy wish 4 tis r'ship 2 last. i know its hard 4 u." & how does he xpect me to live a world where there's juz me? my world revovles ard him. i tot he knew. wts left nw is juz a heart full of words left unspoken. gawd. noe how im feelin rite nw? lyk my whole world juz end. done. finish. i wish all my feelings was gone. im tryin to understand. i tot he knew. n though i told my heart to haf a silent breakin, i sud haf known. i wish i didnt wish so hard. mayb i wished our love apart. exaggerated. u'll get over it. i noe, tts wt everbody will sae. but u haf no idea how it is 4 me. "im proud to haf u as my girlfriend, n i'll be very proud to call u my wife." and i couldn't for the life of me see how i m going to manage alone nw. |
walking is a famous loosener of thoughts.
Monday, May 12, 2008/ 2:48 PM
walking is a famous loosener of thoughts.
sumday wen im awfully low i love doin tt. walk. n try to take comfort frm my comfort foods. but lyk ive said, its nt givin me e comfort lyk it used to. n ey sae food plays a much larger part in emotional stability then is usually acknowledged. pfft~ anw love these questionnaires. 1. What time did you get up this morning? i was still working. 2. Diamonds or pearls? either. 3. What is your favorite TV show? dun watch much of it nowadays 4. What do you usually have for breakfast? haha dun usually take my breakfast too. 5. What is your middle name? sabariyah?? LOL 6. What food do you dislike? umm. 7. What is your favorite CD at the moment? dun listen to CDs these daes 8. What kind of car do you drive? NA. 9. Favorite sandwich? White bread Chicken. 10. What characteristic do you despise? all blatant -ve characteristic 11. Favorite item of clothing? do i haf 1? 12. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? venice 13. What color is your bathroom? white 14. Favorite brand of clothing? topshop, forever 21, dorothy perkin 15. When is your birthday? 26 dec 16. Are you a morning person or a night person? in btwn? 17. What is your shoe size? 8 18. Pets? hehe if i cud, i rather nt to haf any 19. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? i juz finish my nyte! 20. What did you want to become when you were little? haha i wanted to be in e army. still do. 21. How are you today? tell u truth, i dunnoe how m i these few daes. 22. What is your favorite candy? menthol 23. What is your favorite flower? dun like any 24. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? 26 dec duh. 25. What is your full name? you should know this 26. Do you wish on stars? yes. 27. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? red? 28. How is the weather right now? Cloudy 29. Last person you spoke to on the phone? kak sarinah 30. Favorite soft drink? ermm. 31. Favorite restaurant? macdonalds 32. Hair colour? haha 4gt already. been quite sumtime since i last dyed 33. Sibling? wat abt em? 34. Favorite day of the year? my bdae 35. Summer or winter? dunnoe how either feels like 36. Hugs or kisses? both? 37. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla 38. When was the last time you cried? ah soalan bonus 39. What is under your bed? nth. 40. Who is the friend you have had the longest? muhd. faiz aziz 41. What did you do last night? work. 42. Favorite smell? watever tts on my boify. 43. What are you afraid of? ..... 44. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? neither. 45. How many years at your current job? yrs? mths. hehe 46. Favorite day of the week? saturday. 47. Do you make friends easily? yes. i think. 48. How many people will you be sending this to? its here in my blog ryte? any1 hu chooses to respond, can, and those who dun, cun n wun haf to. =) |